Tag Archives: dreams



Nothing, just wallowing in the silence of unvoiced thoughts


Before, now…. forever


I keep all that jealousy and hope sealed, a large wad of clamped emotions


Because I’m in love with you, stupid.

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Dreaming of…..

I awoke to the familiar bleating sound, I wonder if I slept at all; it seemed I’d been awake the entire time. Standing up from the bed, trying to dislodge from my head frantic thoughts about the night’s dream, it had been too real….

Walk to the bathroom after taking a few moments to gather the scattered fragments of my consciousness and succeed at creating a patchwork awareness of sorts. As usual, I spend an inordinate amount of time doing nothing, I catch myself just staring at the toothbrush, standing whole minutes motionless as water drapes over me, something’s wrong.

Unfortunately, there’s no time to fully investigate this feeling, I have to dance the tune of habit, all preparations at the allocated time, no empty slots to fill up with worry. I finish and discover I still can’t shake the feeling, if anything it’s growing stronger with the lack of attention.

And so it builds, throughout the day, past the bus ride, permeating my work activities, seeping into the evening….. till it’s all I can do just taking a breath in and out, I’m drowning, I can feel it building to a zenith. Continue reading

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So I woke up today bursting with so many short snips of randomness, I’ve decided to share….

Everything worth fighting for is won without fighting” – Trull sengar, I think.. midnight tides, fourth in the malazan book of the fallen.

and so he told me “he brings with him peace….the peace of the sword….the sword of death, you must accept!!! You must accept!!!”. So I dismembered him.

Lies are a blessing only to those who are continually privileged with cold truths, that is why I cherish the cast of illusions.

The unaligned only know solitude, their only power is one of surprise…. baring that, they are nothing.

Unlike most things, too much despair is a good thing, it brings in its wake desensitization. The ability to laugh at ones own misfortune becomes a valued virtue, eventually.

a kind of fruit from the tree of the mind

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A Drill ‘ s thought (No underlying message!!)

I wish you’d just let me beat you

You wish I wasn’t exactly what I am

But we both know what scares us most….

Your inevitable surrender

I would hit you like a storm

An avalanche of destruction preceding creation

Submerging past memories under debris of sand, stone and root

Releasing all your incumbent demons into my arms

Where I’d become what I was born for

To be conqueror

You’d see me exiling those doubts to paths unseen and forgotten

Freeing you….

To let me in

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Let’s take a trip down to the realm of my darkest thoughts

where fears and cruelties run wild with depravity

Fraught with repressed wrath and dismissed evils

Teeming with questions too insane to mouth

Continue reading

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Living Nightmares

Certain recurring experiences, all seemingly random until considered together, have been keeping me in a state of unease. Some of them happened while I was seemingly asleep, appearing as dreams, some of them as waking visions and others as passing thoughts. I do not really know what to make of them; I do not know how to feel about them. I only hope that by sharing it I can perform an exorcism of sorts, on my demons. Continue reading

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